May 16, 2016
Currently sitting in Amsterdam Airport Shiphol. My flight to Cairo is in a little under three hours. I had a wonderful day in Amsterdam and I’ve been meeting really nice people. I met an old couple at JFK who borrowed my cellphone, then watched my bags for me when I went to the bathroom and Jamba Juice. They didn’t really speak English well but they were still very sweet. We sat in the same row but opposite sides on the flight and waved to each other as if we had known each other for years. I got the window seat and sat next to a cool German girl who was visiting New York for work. She was a geologist of some sort, and also didn’t speak much English but we got along well regardless. Delta fed us so much on the flight which was great because I unfortunately didn’t sleep much. What better way to pass the time than to eat?
My uber driver on the way to JFK also didn’t speak much English but was very kind. He was originally from Pakistan but lived in Dubai and had friends in Dubai whom he told me would show me around if I decided to visit. He also showed me pictures of his family. He definitely foreshadowed the language barriers I continued to encounter throughout the trip.
When I got to Amsterdam, hardly anyone spoke English but eventually I found a transportation worker who told me where to go.
I did, however, meet a women from Chicago while waiting for our TSA check in Amsterdam. She had gone to Egypt in 2010 and was in Amsterdam to give a tour for her job. She told me all good things about her trip to Egypt and said Abu Simbel was her favorite place.
I didn’t really meet many people walking through the city, but I kind of expected that. It was kind of nice being alone and just doing my own thing on my own time, wandering freely and not feeling responsible for anyone else. The only times I ever felt just a little lonely was when I struggled to finish smoking the joints I bought or when I wanted a picture of myself in front of the I amsterdam landmark (Of course I forgot to pack my selfie stick).
I caught the train to Amsterdam Centraal and as soon as I stepped off the train I fell in love with this quaint little village with canals all over and well-dressed city-dwellers. I went into the first coffeeshop I found and bought five pre-rolled joints because I knew I had no time (or money) to waste experimenting, but I was fascinated by the dozens of strains and magic mushies sold indiscreetly.
I smoked one J while walking around and felt on top of the world. Literally, I felt like I was floating. I chatted with one of the salesmen at a souvenir shop for a bit. He straight away knew I was American which I thought was pretty funny. He was a cool guy and I wanted to go back there but couldn’t remember where it was. #TooHighGuy.
I walked to the Rijksmuseum and explored a bit. Coat checking my backpack was a struggle because again, #2HG. I enjoyed the Still Life exhibits because I’m fascinated by the way the lighting and the shadows can bring a piece to life. I also chilled by the I amsterdam letters for quite a bit and just relaxed, taking in my surroundings, appreciating where I was at that exact moment in time. My heart was happy to be here. I felt like I belonged.
Next I went to Sarah’s Pancakes and holy sh*t it was an orgasm in my mouth (Thank you Katie for the recommendation)! I had strawberry banana pancakes with whipped cream and a chocolate milk. I think I found some chairs and tables and smoked joint number two. Surprisingly I found that while walking and smoking, I got some funny looks. Maybe because it still wasn’t even noon and I was already high as a kite. Maybe I was just paranoid. I mean, it’s Amsterdam, right? But regardless, I decided to be a little classier about it.
Next I walked past the Anne Frank House, but the line was really long so I didn’t bother going in. I went to Abraxas coffeeshop and smoked another joint outside. I forget if it was Abraxas or another coffeeshop before it but they wouldn’t let me smoke inside unless I was going to buy something. And I still had to finish the rest of my joints before my flight so I just kept to myself outside.
Then I walked through the Red Light District which was interesting to say the least. I saw one too many tits and decided not to stay much longer. I went back to Amsterdam Centraal but realized I still had some time to wander before I needed to head back to the airport. I decided to go back to the first coffeeshop I started at and there was a guy sitting on a bench outside so I sat next to him. I asked him if I could smoke there and he handed me a lighter, which I took as a yes. (And another language barrier perhaps.) He was really chill but again, barely spoke English. I shared my last two joints with him because he seemed like a genuine, kind person. He gave off a nice vibe, and he had shared his rolling papers with some strangers in need. We didn’t really talk much because of the whole language barrier thing but we enjoyed each other’s company. I could tell he really appreciated the joints and I appreciated having someone to share them with. I had to leave to get to get back to the airport because my paranoid self was worried I’d get lost or something, but I made it back in fairly decent time. I only wish I had longer to roam around this lovely city.
Everything was so precious and romantic. At one point a biker stopped to let me cross the street, he smiled and said “After you, Madam.” My heart melted. The city was very quiet otherwise, which came as a surprise to me. I felt very touristy with my camera around my neck and I got a little lost at times, but that was all part of the adventure. I stumbled upon some graffiti on a wall that read “Love Me” and I admired it for probably longer than necessary but what felt like the perfect amount of time. I got to see everything I needed to see. Next time I’m here, I want to try magic mushrooms and take a canal cruise tour. Those are my only two Amsterdam bucket list things I didn’t get to check off yet. I’d also like to visit and spend more time at the museums and shopping. I bought two beanies and four lighters. I finally heard from Mike that he and Jo are in Germany. I’ll be seeing them soon. Next destination — Cairo.
This picture was taken of me while hiking in New Zealand. You see that cute purple beanie on my head? This is a story about that beanie… The story of the traveling beanie.
I had been wanting a beanie for a long time but being the broke college student that I am, I never got around to actually buying one. I had tried some on but convinced myself they all looked terrible and I just wasn’t “a beanie person” because I didn’t want to spend money. One night at my favorite pub in Australia, I found this lone, purple beanie laying on a chair and I fell in love. A stranger had obviously lost it there but no one was coming back for it. I brought it home and washed it, and the beanie became mine. It was the first beanie I ever believed looked okay on me, and I wore it almost everywhere. Until one night, I lost it at a bar in New Zealand.
I don’t remember how I lost my beloved beanie. I got too drunk one night and blacked out. I don’t even remember getting back to my hostel. But I woke up in my bed the next morning with all my clothes still on, and only one thing missing— the precious purple beanie.
It’s crazy to think that someone else may have found that beanie just like I had, and is now wearing it around, maybe even in some other country. I guess that’s my karma. I have no idea where the beanie even came from, who the owner was or where they bought it. They could’ve been from another country as well. What if someday I find my beanie back in the states? That would be way too freaky…
I ended up buying two new beanies in New Zealand because I missed my old one so much. I lost one of them, but by now I have a collection of at least seven beanies, and I’ve lost quite a few. I don’t know why I have no luck with holding on to them. I guess they’re just as wanderlust as I am. Some say they were made in China and the others says made in Korea. I have no idea where my lost, purple beanie came from before it had an owner, but if I had to guess, it was probably also made in China or Korea or somewhere unfamiliar to me. Then shipped to a store, maybe or maybe not in Australia. It somehow ended up in Australia though, into my possession, then lost in New Zealand, and now who knows where it could be. Who knows where any of my lost beanies could be. These simple little beanies came all the way from Asia and could have potentially been to even more countries than I have.
This goes to show how interconnected everything can be. I can only hope that someone else has found that purple beanie (and the others…) and they have given it a new home, or new head rather, as well as a new adventure!
Originally written on Friday, October 11, 2013.
Edited and published Tuesday, January 27, 2014.
During my year and a half spent in Australia, I compiled a playlist of songs from just before getting on the plane there up until leaving. Some of these songs have a story behind them, some just have the right vibe, or an essence of nostalgia. Some are just plain ol’ cheesy, and some I just felt like putting on the playlist because I can. My experience in Australia has been the most amazing adventure, and these songs are all a part of my journey. I’ve been adding songs all along the way, and here is my finalised playlist.
Leaving On A Jet Plane – Slightly Stoopid
The summer before I came to Australia, I was crashing at my best friend Alyssa’s apartment in order to work and save money before traveling. Alyssa had told me to listen to the original Leaving On a Jet Plane by John Denver because she said it reminded her of me because I was leaving and she was going to miss me. The song is about going away for a while as the lyrics say, “I am leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.” I think any traveler feels this way when saying goodbye. The first lines of the song perfectly describe that anxious, lonely feeling when you’re just about to head out, and this is exactly how I felt when I had to leave Alyssa’s. “All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go, I’m standin’ here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin’, it’s early morn, the taxi’s waitin’, he’s blowin’ his horn, already I’m so lonesome, I could die.”
When I heard the Slightly Stoopid version, I was even more hooked due to the relaxed and tropical feel of Slightly Stoopid’s interpretation, as opposed to the depth and sadness of the original. It was obviously sad that I was leaving, but exciting to be heading to a beautiful new place. I listened to this song nonstop on my way to Australia– before leaving, in the airport, on the plane, during my layover in LA, and of course, when I arrived in Australia as well. Alyssa was always there for me throughout my entire experience abroad, and she even traveled all the way to Brisbane to visit me during her spring break, so this song is really important to me because of her.
Australia – The Shins
The title is literally Australia, so I couldn’t not put this in my playlist. But there’s actually a lot more to the song than just that. The lyrics are a bit contrasting to the upbeat melody, as it seems to be about going through the motions and not enjoying life to the fullest, for example in the lines, “Faced with the dodo’s conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I’d try.” However, the opposing happy, fast-paced melody seems to work as an inspiration to keep going and to free yourself from the boring day to day motions. As he ends the song with the line, “Watching the lantern dim, starved of oxygen/So give me your hand and let’s jump out the window,” it shows the narrator finally breaking away from the life he hasn’t been enjoying. Coming to Australia has been this change for me to break away and have fun in a place I’ve never been able to experience before. Sometimes it was hard being in a new place with new people but after I was able to break out of my shell, I realized how much better everything can be, and how sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side, but you’ll never know until you put yourself out there.
Mango Tree – Angus and Julia Stone
First off, it’s written by Australian artists, Angus and Julia Stone. I listened to it a few times with an Australian boy I had a crush on for a while. I also listened to it a lot during my first trip to North Stradbroke Island. It’s got a really nice, comforting vibe to it. Whenever I hear it, it brings back really fond memories and a longing for Australia.
Tubthumping – Chumbawamba
My first semester, I tried to go surfing for the first time during Arcadia’s free excursion to North Stradbroke Island. The whole weekend was incredible, but I’ll always remember the last day of the trip when we went surfing. I was pretty bad at it but I still gave it a few attempts. I eventually was able to get up on my knees at least, but I wasn’t able to stand on the board. Regardless, it was such a fun time. While everyone else was showing off, I was mostly just paddling around on my board and singing this song to myself, “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.”
While this song will always remind me of that first attempt at surfing, it also sums up my entire experience abroad. Even if things go don’t go your way or work out as planned, just keep going and keep trying. This song always reminds me to keep my chin up and that nothing can never keep me down.
Hackensack – Fountains of Wayne
My hometown is a city known as Hackensack, New Jersey. Whenever I was feeling homesick, I would listen to this song. The line “If you ever get back to Hackensack, I’ll be here for you,” always reminded me that I had people waiting for me back home, who would still be there for me once I returned. You should always remember where you come from, but for now, I was in Australia and I didn’t want to worry about missing out on anything back home. This song would comfort me that I would return eventually. Now that I’m back, I’ve been able to reconnect with all my friends and family. It’s almost like I never left, except now I get laughed at for saying Aussie slang like “How ya goin?” and “No worries, mate.”
The City – The 1975
I’ve never lived in a big city before, and I always drove everywhere I went. I used to listen to this song a lot on the bus, and almost always while walking home from QUT over the Goodwill Bridge. On my walks home, I would always admire the view and acknowledge just how beautiful the city is. The lyrics, “If you wanna find love then you know where the city is” will always remind me of Brisbane and reflecting on those lovely walks home.
Teenage Dirtbag – Wheatus
This has been one of my favourite songs in the world since I was younger. I hadn’t heard it in ages, but when I came to Australia I started hearing it all the time again, even at clubs. I looked it up and apparently the single was massively popular in Aussie. I became really good friends with another girl from Arcadia, Michelle, who also studied here my first semester. We listened to it all the time together and used to joke that we are musical soulmates because we have such similar taste in music. It might also be that we like to go for those grungy, skater type guys and bonded over that as well. Regardless, this song reminds me of the good times we had, especially at Ric’s in the Valley. We’re all just a bunch of kids figuring ourselves out in another country. “I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby like you.”
Down Under – Men At Work
Isn’t this Australia’s national anthem? I had to put it on the playlist…Nothing describes Australia better than the line, “I said ‘Do you speak-a my language?’ He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich.”
American Girl – Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
When I first came to Australia, I hated standing out for being American. I felt like people would just see me at the bus stop and KNOW I wasn’t Australian, which seems ridiculous now. But even if they did realize I was American, it was nothing to be ashamed of. I learned to embrace who I am and this song with it’s upbeat, rock n roll sound always gave me confidence by reminding me that it’s more than okay to be an American Girl.
Tourist – RAC, Tokyo Police Club
I listened to this song on repeat for the last year and a half. It’s all about being a tourist, finding the right cafes to go to, making small talk with people, “Are we strangers forever or are we strangers for now?” It’s about figuring out a new place. If I could pick one song to listen to my entire trip abroad, it would be this one.
Australia Street – Sticky Fingers
The lyrics describe it all. It’s written by an Australian band who played at Splendour in the Grass (which I had to miss because I was in America, and I can’t even tell you how many times I cried about having to miss this festival.) This song will always remind me of the friendships I had in Australia and the good times we all had.
The Good Good – Snoop Lion
My Australian best friend Grace is one of the most significant people in my journey. I met Grace at the end of my first semester, and by my third semester we became inseparable. She is even coming to visit me in America for Christmas! Grace showed me this song and we listened to it all the time. She is also a musician, and recorded a cover of this song dedicated to me. It has really chill, good vibes and a nice, beachy feel to it which is just perfect for Australia with all it’s breathtaking beaches. The line, “This is the good good, this is what people look all their lives to find” describes my friendship with Grace, as well as the amazing times I had in Australia and the beautiful places I was able to see.
Woodland – Paper Kites
The Paper Kites are a really cool Australian band that I got to see live at The Hi-Fi in West End with my other Arcadia friends Bri and Nat. Bri introduced the band to us, and when we went to their show with her we all got to meet them and get hugs and autographs and posters. This song has relaxing, fun, nature-y vibes making it perfect for hiking and bushwalks, or just a nice, sunny day.
A tout a l’heure – Bibio
I just love this song. I showed it off to all my friends when I first heard it. I listened to it while roaming through the QUT Botanic Gardens one night with my friend Alyssa when she came to visit and a few other friends I made in Australia. (And that night was one to remember.) I would listen to it while traveling, on flights, buses, trains or just walking. It would always cheer me up and calm me down. I like to think of it as my “spirit song.”
Bumpy Ride – The Hoosiers
With it’s upbeat and positive lyrics and melody, this song always keeps me going strong. “It’s gunna be a bumpy ride but it sure beats standing still.” Through the ups and downs of traveling, it’s still the most incredible experience and I wouldn’t change it for anything. From the beginning of my journey, there were obstacles– I was delayed in Newark and missed my connecting flight at LAX, so I was stranded in LA alone for a night. But then the next morning I got to lay by my hotel’s pool and wait until my flight to Brisbane. Later, I dropped my laptop at the airport and cracked the screen, I was freaking out but once I got to Brisbane, my computer was still working. There were many difficulties being abroad– jetlag, missing home, making and losing friends, tons of schoolwork, financial troubles– but through everything, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. The good times made up for the hard times.
It was all part of the experience.
Originally written for my Co-Curricular Learning Certificate
Check out this awesome video by Anastasia Lukovenko of her weekend excursion to North Stradbroke Island with Arcadia University Australia.
We live in a society where everyone asks, “What’s new?” or “How are you?” but no one seems to care about the response. We reply with a dull “not much” or “good, how are you?” And then wait for another meaningless answer. We ask these questions to be polite, but how often are people genuinely interested? Especially when your response is a lot more exciting than theirs would be. We are jealous, bitter people– it’s in our human nature. But we ask these questions because it’s common courtesy, and we don’t want to seem rude (even though we are).
The worst case comes when you study abroad because you have so much to share, but to be honest– no one back in the small town of Glenside, Pennsylvania wants to hear anything about your life-changing experiences because while you spent a weekend partying in Amsterdam, your friends went to another shitty house party that probably got busted before midnight. Your constant traveling and experiences in a foreign country will never fail to make everyone sitting back home hate their boring, routine lives. And you.
Some people who study abroad understand this, while others think that everyone is fascinated by their experiences. This doesn’t mean absolutely everyone isn’t interested. I’m sure your mom and dad actually care. But the stories you really want to share are probably the ones best kept from your parents. But how many times can your friends handle listening to you go on and on about your beautiful foreign roommates before they start ignoring your messages. You can’t be mad at them for this. They want to be interested in your life. But while they’re staring at the same four walls of their Oak Summit apartment, you’re out getting a taste of all different parts of the world, and they’re going to get tired of hearing about it.
Even if someone is honestly interested in your trip and wants to hear “all about it” you would never be able to describe it all. Too much has happened. I would never be able to explain in detail all the amazing opportunities I’ve had, the people I have met, and the adventures I’ve taken without wasting hours of someone else’s time. When someone back home asks me, “How’s Australia?” I couldn’t even begin to describe the highs and lows and craziness of everything that has been happening. Maybe I could tell them about how I spent an entire weekend on North Stradbroke Island learning how to surf and sandboard and kayak, and didn’t have to pay for a single thing (thanks Arcadia!). Or I could mention how last weekend I went to the most beautiful beach in the world, got to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef, and found my potential Australian husband (just kidding, maybe). I could tell them about the first time I got to hold a koala and pet a kangaroo. Or explain the difference between a nice Australian accent and a bogan one. But no matter what I tell them, it just sounds like I’m bragging. Instead, maybe I could tell them how I felt really homesick so I stayed in bed all day watching Netflix and eating overpriced Nutella out of the jar. Or that even though I’m in Australia, I still have classes to go to and essays to write and all-nighters filled with red bull WITHOUT vodka. But how lame does that make my entire semester seem?
We can partially blame social media. Most likely everyone has already seen all your pictures on Facebook and read all your tweets and hate you enough as it is. The constant upload of beautiful pictures from weekend excursions and simply everyday life in a foreign country is enough to drive anyone crazy with jealousy. Especially when it’s somewhere they wish they could be. Or somewhere they’ve already been that they wish they could go back to. Or when it is winter in PA, and your friends are dreading leaving their heated apartments, meanwhile I’m posting pictures of the beautiful, sunny beaches around Australia.
But what else are we supposed to do? We have to share our experiences with someone. And we shouldn’t have to feel guilty about it. I guess that’s why blogging has become so popular. But while it may seem like we are having a much better time than those of you at home (and not gonna lie, we probably are), we still get that FOMO too. Sometimes there is nothing I want more than to be hungover on my best friend’s couch eating mac n cheese and watching Food Network. No matter what great experiences I have abroad, there will still always be a nostalgia for people and places (and pizza) back home. So to all the friends who haven’t had the opportunity to travel and are stuck listening to our awesome stories, try to be patient with us. We’re not bragging on purpose. And I’m sure you have cool stories to share too. Even if it is just about another drunk night at Towers. And to anyone who has studied abroad and has had this problem, try not to brag TOO much to your friends. Keep it subtle. Start a blog. Or share your experiences with us at WanderLUST. And in the midst of all the bragging, don’t forget to remind your friends back home how much you still love and miss them.
by Ponsius Hanz Odaga
So, a few weeks ago I was at the DMV to get a state I.D. While standing in line, I met a couple of nice folks who were getting their driving licenses renewed. We began talking about how driving makes you incredibly lazy. Now please don’t be offended, but if you drive often, there is a high probability that you have been afflicted with this curse. And if you think you haven’t, then look back and just think of the last time you were in a parking lot and you refused to park in the back. You’d rather embark on an endless quest to find the coveted, elusive, and mysterious “good spot”.
Don’t get me wrong though– I think cars are pretty dang cool, but our bodies are parade-worthy amazing. So why don’t we walk? Sure, driving is easier and it gets you wherever you need to go much faster. But because of this, we tend to miss out on a lot, or spend our whole time screaming at other drivers. Seriously, I believe that more than 70% of drivers in the northeastern United States have road rage.
Anyway, I have an idea for all of us to just take a walk, whenever we travel somewhere or if you live near/in a city. Or take public transit and leave the driving to someone else. (Except for taxis, which tend to cost too much and be a poor experience.) Think about it, you will save money, meet new people or have time to yourself. I propose that we all become the Wayfarer in just 5 easy steps.
Step One: Plan to Leisurely Walk
Advice: I know I am redundant, but take your time. And don’t expect too much, just expect to see something new.
Story Time: I am currently interning in NY and every day when I walk home, I take my time to take in all the sounds & places around me. I love running into good musicians and dancers on the street & subway.
Step Two: Distraction
Advice: Plan to get distracted and walk wherever you see something interesting.
Story time: When I was in Paris, I was walking with a friend in search for dinner and we stumbled upon a bar where they were playing some nice funky soul music. We were dancing as we were walking by, and a lady came out and encouraged us to go in. Actually, it was more like she pulled us in. Anyway, we went in and partied it up for a hot minute with all of the people there. Then the bartender told us it was a private party and then we begrudgingly walked out. For the record, the people wanted us there and invited us in. AND they danced with us! But then again, they were drunk….
Step Three: Join In
Advice:When you see people doing something you think is cool, just hop on in. More often than not, if people are having a good time, they don’t mind other people jumping in who just wanna have fun too.
Story time: A couple weeks ago, I went to Bubble Battle NYC 2014 which I thought was fantastic. The amount of bubbles in the air seemed never ending. I swear we were the best kind of public servants because we definitely cleaned up Union Square that day.
I was there with a couple of friends and once in a while people came up to us asking what was going on. Later on, I noticed those same people jumping in on the action with bubble-creating items they just bought.
Step Four: Talk to your neighbor
Advice: If you are on public transit and someone is doing something, wearing something or reading something you like– talk to them. Be courteous and friendly, but know your boundaries because not all people will want to talk.
Story time: I was on the NY subway and working on a spoken word poem that I was going to perform at an open mic when I noticed the man next to me looking at what I was doing. He then said, “Hi, are you a poet? That’s a good line there” to me, and we began to talk about poetry. His wife was also on the train, and they asked to read my poem. In the end, they complimented my writing and gave me confidence in what I had written, which greatly reduced the pre-show jitters.
Step Five: Be I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T
Advice: When you get on to public transit be prepared to spend some time to yourself. Bring a great book to read, portable video games to play, journal to write in or music you want to listen to. Basically, keep yourself happy.
Story time: I can’t even begin to mention all the papers, assignments, readings, books that I have completed on megabus. There was one time I was reading a book that made me laugh loud enough where I had to apologize to the people next to me. Then megabus turned off the lights and I let out a big awww! This made all those around me laugh at my plight. In fact, I edited part of this article while on public transit.
Overall, the point is to take a walk through any interesting area you see and experience as much as you can. Talk to people and do what you want. It’s the fastest way to get to know an area and enjoy your time there. Public transit isn’t as bad as some people make it out to be. Chill out, accept the instability of life, and don’t forget to be awesome.
“Wanderlust” means the desire to travel, a longing or impulse towards wandering. It’s become really popular for people today to use the word wanderlust, to feel the need to escape from where they are and find somewhere new. I know for myself, I have always wanted to travel because I haven’t found anywhere I want to stay. When I become too comfortable in a place, it makes me uneasy, and I know that I need to leave. I need to find something more, some kind of adventure. Inspired by my own desire to travel, I created WanderLUST as a way to share these experiences and to stray away from the boring, depressing norms of the media. I was searching for something exciting and new, and when I couldn’t find it, I decided to start a project of my own.
I’ve traveled all around Australia. I had orientation in Melbourne, admiring the graffitti and art all around the city, a cheap yet delicious meal in Chinatown, and had rounds of cheap beer bought for me and my friends at the famous rooftop bar Cookie. I spent a weekend in Sydney, taking pictures outside the extravagant opera house, and exploring the inside, as well as Sydney Harbour Bridge and Darling Harbour (and the way too expensive night scene around there). I hiked the Blue Mountains even when I thought my asthma wasn’t going to let me go further. I spent ten days in New Zealand, doing some of the most adventurous and terrifying things I’d never even dreamed of doing– hiking a glacier, bungy jumping, jet boating, white water rafting, and so much more. I’ve slept on buses and on beaches and in airport terminals. I’ve slept in some shitty hostels, and some really nice ones too, like the one in Cairns with the pool and the hammocks. I’ve scuba dived the Great Barrier Reef. I visited Bali for a week where I got to meditate in some beautiful temples, play with monkeys, buy cheap incense and jewelry, and get full body massages for $5 every day. But I’ve also gone days without eating because I spent my money on flights and tours, or to drink and smoke. And while these certainly make for some interesting stories, people are always much more interested in the juicy stuff. Who’s fucking, who’s fighting, who’s falling in love, who’s failing their classes because they keep getting drunk?
WanderLUST is here to share these kinds of stories from people’s daily adventures whether they are at home or around the world. It’s a judgment free zone, where you can share things you may not usually be inclined to share (because those are always the best). We include articles about sex, awkward situations, drunken endeavors, activism, travel, adventure, humour, art, food, rants, beautiful places around the world, pretty much anything that will make you happy to read and/or write.
I couldn’t be more excited about our first issue and the funny, interesting stories that WanderLUST’s contributors have shared with us, and I look forward to what’s to come. We are constantly looking for new writers, musicians, artists and photographers to share their views, their journey, and their talent. If you think you have something interesting to share or feedback for our magazine, please contact email@example.com. We’d love to hear what you have to say, and hope you enjoy our first issue and everything that will be coming up.
Photo credit: Google Images
No copyright infringement intended
by Ian Agnew
1. Rethink your decision to climb a mountain.
2. After rethinking your decision to climb a mountain, decide to do it anyway, despite the fact that the most exercise you get on a regular basis is carrying groceries up the massive hills of wherever you live (which may or may not be Wellington, New Zealand). If you actually are fit enough to climb a mountain, do not climb a mountain; you could probably impress people just as easily by showing off your muscles or something.
3. Assure yourself that you’re more than capable of climbing a mountain; after all, you once completed a half marathon without training for it at all (note: it is key that you disregard the fact that you wanted to die at the end of said half marathon and were in pain for days afterward; also, your 15-year-old brother finished before you).
4. DO NOT PACK UNTIL THE DAY YOU LEAVE FOR SAID MOUNTAIN-CLIMBING. This step is essential, as packing any time before this date could render you too prepared, and will detract from the necessary experiences of dehydration, sunburn, delirium, etc. If a friend asks you to bring something for them, simply laugh, put on sunglasses, and pee on them (effective for/on both genders).
5. Arrive at the mountain early in the morning wearing too many layers of clothes, because your friends told you to. Do not worry about overheating; within the first hour of the climb, you’ll step off the trail a bit, strip down to your underwear, and only put back on the lightest pair of pants/shorts you have with you. It is important that you believe there will be no need to keep warm later on in the day.
6. Now you must actually climb the mountain. Keys to this step are: stopping every 5 to 10 minutes because one of your friends is somehow more out of shape than you are, not wearing enough sunscreen (even spf 50 didn’t cut it), and regretting your decision to climb said mountain immensely.
7. If you make it to the top, congratulations! It’s freezing cold, despite it having been sweltering 20 minutes ago; by no means should you attempt to warm yourself. Simply sit there, sore and in pain, while you wait for the rest of your friends to make it up because you ran ahead and just wanted to be done with the thing (of course, that’s if you have friends).
8. Once you’ve been sitting there, in the frozen crater of what you’ve now been told is a dormant volcano, begin to think about the trip down and pray for a gondola or helicopter or flying bison to come and make your life easier. None of these will appear, but it is important that you create false hope for yourself.
9. Begin the climb down while attempting to wingman for your friend, as the girl he likes has come on this trip with you. Don’t worry about his constant slipping and falling ungracefully; these only add to his desirability in her eyes. After you’ve made it down a ways, it is important that you feel as though you’re going to die, mostly because you ran out of water two-thirds of the way up, but also because your limbs are telling you that you’re going to die.
10. Somehow, miraculously, make it to the bottom first, hobble into the visitor’s center, and spend five minutes at the water fountain before everyone else; this solidifies your status as “Biggest Asshole” of the day. Take off your socks and hobble everywhere like an old man/woman while complaining endlessly about all of the pain you’re in.
Congratulations! You’ve climbed a mountain! Now forget all your pain and suffering and go climb another one next weekend.